"If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four?"
- The Beetles
Step 1. Throw a bunch of baby potatoes & 3 eggs into a pot.
Step 2. Boil until potatoes are soft and eggs are hard (boiled)
Step 3. Chop pickles & green onions into little pieces, peel eggs and chop those too, heck chop the potatoes if you want.
Step 4. Dump the chopped stuff & the potatoes into a bowl and plop some mayonnaise & mustard on top
Step 5. Add salt and pepper, whatever else you heart desires and mix well
Serve to the grumpy bear and watch it magically morph back into your husband.
Repeat as necessary.